Thursday, May 27, 2010

A Preggo Proclamation

Any female wishing to go to the lake house or beach with me this summer must gain at least 10 lbs, or wear a burqa. So eat up, ladies.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

 I actually feel like I've been pretty fortunate so far (karma cap) and people generally have been pretty nice in their comments towards me, but I have received a couple of zingers (all from strangers or loose acquaintances- friends and family have been very nice!) and just for the sake of the other pregnant ladies out there, here's a general PSA about things you should not say to a pregnant woman. No matter how witty or friendly you think you're being. Be a better conversationalist than this and just put all of these sentences permanently out of your brain.

1) Are you sure you're not having twins?
        - Ultrasound equipment has progressed remarkably in the past several years, and I'm pretty sure the doctors know if there are one or two babies in there. I can guarantee you that every pregnant woman has heard this comment at least a dozen times, and it never gets funny...please just let it die.

2) Wow you must be due really really soon! 
        - there's nothing more annoying than having to clarify that you've got another 3 or 4+ months to go. Seriously, if you don't know the due date, don't make this comment. And for the love of God, don't follow it up with "wow you've got 4+ months to go?? That's going to be a huge baby." Because the person you're talking to might follow that up with a punch in your face.

3) Are you sure you should be eating that? 
         - Unless the mama-to-be is eating a plateful of raw seafood that you've spat in without her seeing, taking tequila shots, and smoking a cigarette, chances are she knows more about what she should or should not be eating than you. Also, you are not a doctor trained in obstetrics, so stop trying to act like one.

4) I had a friend that miscarried at 25 weeks/lost her baby during delivery/*insert traumatic story here*.
          - Every pregnant woman knows that not every baby conceived is going to come into the world perfectly healthy, and every pregnant woman knows miscarriage rates. And yes, we know labor is going to be difficult, we don't need to hear all about yours and everything that went terribly wrong. Nothing productive will come of this conversation, so please don't upset your pregnant friend by telling her horror stories. Seriously, what are you trying to accomplish?

5) Was this planned? Were you guys trying?
           - I think I already addressed this one in one of my first few posts but just in case it needs to be repeated, this is none of your business and there is no graceful way to answer this.

6) You'd better stock up on your sleep now! 
           - This one actually kind of makes me sad, because I wish sleep did work like that, haha. Believe me, if I could, I would be ALL over that. But, it doesn't, so don't suggest it because it's asinine and doesn't make sense.

7) Oh I KNEW you were having a boy/girl because your butt has gotten bigger/because you look really wide from the front/because your skin is broken out/*insert comment here*
            - If you wouldn't say it to a non-pregnant person, it's not suddenly magically acceptable to say it to a woman just because she's pregnant. Filter people, filter.

8) Wow those pregnancy hormones must be killer! 
            - I fully acknowledge that some women truly are hormonal and might overreact to a situation. But pregnant women in general get labeled as "hormonal" or "emotional" at the slightest sign of emotion, even if the other person is acting like a completely annoying jackass. So if you are being an annoying jackass, and then call the pregnant woman hormonal when she gets annoyed or mad at you, then just be prepared for the consequences.

9) Oh did you want that last cookie/piece of watermelon/glass of OJ/*insert food here*? I already ate it. Oops. 
           - At the risk of negating my argument for #8 above, if you say this to a pregnant woman who did in fact want that last item of food, particularly if she made a special effort in the first place to have said item of food stocked in the house, you'd better damn well have one foot in the car running back to the grocery store.

10) My parents didn't worry about eating this/drinking this/smoking this during their pregnancies and we all turned out just fine! 
          - This one kind of surprises me. What are you trying to say? That I should be drinking, smoking, and eating foods that doctors now know can be dangerous to my unborn child? This one isn't so much offensive as it is confusing...but regardless, don't treat a pregnant woman like she's a paranoid hypochondriac just because she's following her doctor's recommendations.

Monday, May 24, 2010

22 weeks and Baby's still kicking

Tomorrow (Tuesday), Baby Girl hits 22 weeks. You may or may not already know this, but the youngest baby ever known to survive out of the womb was born right at 22 weeks. Little Amillia Taylor was a pure miracle, as babies born before 24 weeks generally have a 0-3% chance of surviving, and most doctors won't even attempt to save a baby who is born that prematurely, until she is 23 weeks. Amillia weighed a whopping 9 ounces at birth (9.5 inches long), required 4 months in an NICU incubator, and a surgery to help her eyesight, but according to google, is now a healthy little toddler. Here is a picture of Amillia's tiny little feet- it's crazy to look at those and picture them inside my belly, because my baby girl is right around her same size right now.

The hospital took a picture of her lying next to a pen, so you can compare her length. 
And here is Amillia as a toddler, she is about 3 1/2 now although I don't know how old she is in this picture:
Even though Amillia's story turned out okay, it makes me extremely grateful that Baby Girl seems to be healthy and growing right along. I will happily be sick every day for the rest of the pregnancy (well....I don't know about happily, necessarily, haha) if it means that she will stay in there baking for the full 9 months and be healthy and strong. She was extremely active today, pretty much constant kicking, which made me very happy.

And because this wouldn't be a true weekly post without a fruit and a non-fruit size guide, here ya go:

At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.
Pregnancy Week 21-24: 
Go Team Go! Your baby is about the
size of an over-inflated football.

And although I look awkward and large in this picture, here is a 22ish week picture of me and the belly, at Derek and Jessica's wedding:

Note to self, don't stand with skinny people anymore when taking a picture, haha.

Friday, May 21, 2010

A weird kind of reassurance- a tongue-in-cheek Friday Musing

Every now and then, I get overwhelmed with the thought of actually having to raise a child and have her turn out sane, healthy, and a contributing member of society. There are so many good intentions, hopes and dreams that I have for this Baby Girl, how in the world are we going to pull it all together and raise her up the way we want her to be?

Lest you think this post is going to be too philosophical and heavy, let me confess that I'm drawing an odd sense of reassurance from seeing just how low the bar is set sometimes by other "parents" out there in the world. I feel terrible for the children, but seriously? It makes me feel better knowing that even my bare minimum amount of effort and common sense already puts me head and shoulders above some of the other people out there. We may not always be perfect but gosh darn it...we're not going to completely fail either.

Let me show you some examples: - If I ever start posting status messages like some of the ones listed on this blog, I would prefer for someone to take me out back and shoot me, please. - I don't know where to even start with this one, aside from just being grateful that as much as my husband loves a cold frosty beer, he would never try to trade his daughter for one. Especially for a watery, redneck domestic beer sold at a gas station. If he was going to trade her away he would at least get the good stuff. too many good ones to post here but I feel like these pictures speak for themselves:

Tonight will be a fun night with the Forbes households- Kristy is graduating and Susan is the birthday girl, so needless to say, we've planned an over the top night of debauchery- and they have no idea what's coming! Let's just hope the rain holds off. Happy Friday, everyone!

Thursday, May 20, 2010


So, an aspect of pregnancy that I thought would be a lot stronger is cravings. There are certainly foods that change week to week that I am more interested in, but no real "if I don't eat this I will kill somebody" cravings. The only one that's been pretty consistent is fruit, especially cantaloupe, watermelon and berries, but right now I'm loving apple cinnamon oatmeal. All of it is still along the lines of "well, it doesn't make me want to vomit, so I want this."

The funniest part about this is that people refuse to believe me when I say that I really haven't had many cravings. Usually the response to my answer is "but you're pregnant!!! You could be eating or doing whatever you want, you MUST be craving SOMETHING!!!!". Granted, if I told them what I was really craving was a plateful of sushi and a glass of wine, they would act even more horrified, but it made me wonder. Could I actually get away with claiming cravings to non-food things? How much can I milk this pregnancy and get some more fun out of it?

So in the spirit of "I'm pregnant, whatevah, I do what I want!!!", this is a list of my official cravings:

* A trip to Paris
* Float in a nice cool pool for the entire summer, getting out only to eat my oatmeal and berries
* My stairs to be finished, now that we've lived here for 2 years
* All the mosquitoes to leave my yard
* A paycheck without actually having to go to work
* A weekly ultrasound just for fun and for the pictures
* Go to the beach for the rest of my pregnancy

That's not asking for too much, right?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

21 Weeks and still going strong

The nesting impulse has been kicking in pretty strong the last few weeks, particularly in regards to getting the nursery settled (or even started, would be nice). Hopefully the husband will agree to a theme soon so we can get rolling because this momma's getting antsy!! I've got a few DIY projects in the works that I will hopefully be able to show off soon.

21 weeks, eh? Let's see what Baby Girl's up to.

Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for hydration and nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies are most interested in tastes they've already experienced through amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you want your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch. Baby is also settling into regular sleep patterns (including dreaming!). I wonder if her dreams are as nutso as mine have been lately?

Stevo will like this one- Cheers to the father-to-be!
This week your baby is about
as long as a beer bottle. A gold medal bottle of beer, perhaps?

Friday, May 14, 2010

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream!

People weren't kidding when they said I might have some crazy dreams, and they seem to have really picked up speed in the last week or so.

The dream I had the other night was probably prompted by the bionic super raccoons that have taken over the attic of my house. In the dream, I kept opening doors in the house and there would be some kind of animal in there. The ones I remember are a big tiger and some kind of large devil horse. And I had to keep scooping up Kingsley so the tiger wouldn't eat him.

Another dream that kind of freaked me out (this was one of those wake up at 3 a.m. kind of dreams, just to make it stop)...I was in some kind of medical conference facility, and the doctors said I had to go ahead and be induced. And I said that I thought it was really early to be worried about that and why did they have to induce me? And then I was sad because Steve still hasn't really felt the baby kick and he's not going to be able to feel it. The other freaky part of the dream was that they wanted me to give birth in some kind of exhibition room, where chairs were set up for people to watch and big picture windows so any passers-by could see too. Greg Valley was there too as a male nurse but I don't know why he was there....and I kept asking him when he went to med school and he didn't know who I was, even though I knew him. So...freaky dream and it pretty much solidified my desire to have as few people at the hospital/in the delivery room as possible. I don't need an audience!!

I had one last night that was prompted by wedding stress, of a wedding that I'm not even involved in. I thought these dreams were long gone!! I was helping Nicole P. plan her wedding but it was all super last minute, and she was having a meltdown over what color background she needed for the bar. And then she needed Katherine Peak to drive around to all the grocery stores in Atlanta because there wasn't enough barbecue sauce, and I had to go with her to help her find more bottles, except that I didn't have any clothes. Peak kept telling me to just wear my bathrobe, and I kept asking Nicole why she even needed barbecue sauce because she wasn't serving barbecue.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Whoaaaaaa we're halfway there.....WHOOOOOA (livin' on a prayer!)

Time flies when you're having fun and I guess we're having lots of fun, because we're officially at the HALFWAY point- 20 weeks! I'm feeling much better although still pretty tired. I've been feeling lots of kicks and Steve could feel them too, if he left his hand on my belly long enough.P.S.- this cute shirt was one of my Mother's Day presents from my sweet mother- and father- in-law- love it!

Let's see what the baby's up to, shall we?

Their little delicates bones continue to ossify and toughen while their itsy bitsy finger and toe pads are finishing up. Your little monkey now has teeth buds, although they’re hidden beneath the gum line. And finally! Their limbs have reached their relative proportions—no more alien baby! Their cute pink lips are more defined, and might be helping out in a bit of prenatal thumb-sucking.

Nice, right? This
week your baby is now the
size of one nice-sized boob.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Baby's First Relay for Life

Despite the fact that it's going to be hot as blazes out there today, I'm packing up the baby bump and taking Baby Girl to her very first Relay for Life. Relay is an event that my company has been heavily involved with for years, and although most folks don't know this, Gwinnett's Relay for Life is the biggest Relay event in the world. I believe last year the event raised over $2 million, with almost 10,000 people attending. It's also a cause near and dear to my heart personally, given friends and family that have battled the awful disease of cancer.

This year, the American Cancer Society asked my company to see "what we could do" in terms of beefing up the luminary ceremony, which is one of the most emotionally powerful components of a successful Relay event. So, in our true over the top style, we accepted the challenge, and have our sights set on breaking the Guinness Book of World Records record of the largest candle ceremony in the world. We realized that the previous record was only like 1,000 candles or something like that and with the average number of attendees to Gwinnett's Relay being between 8,000 and 10,000, we figure we can shoot that record into the ground! I'm sad that I doubt I'll last out there until 10:30 when the ceremony starts, but we'll have our video crew and photographers there and I'm sure that there will be awesome coverage for me to check out later. But seriously, if anyone is in or near the Gwinnett area, come check out Relay for Life tonight at the Gwinnett County Fairgrounds. Need I add a "be there or be square"?

Monday, May 3, 2010

19 weeks!


Why do they call it a softball?
It hurts like hell when one hits
you. Your baby is the size of one.


Vernix caseosa, a greasy white substance made of lanugo, oil and dead skin cells (yum) now coats baby's skin, shielding it from the amniotic fluid. (Picture yourself after a nine-month bath, and the need for protection makes sense.) You might actually get to see the vernix at birth, especially if baby is premature.

And finally, a 19 week belly picture. I feel like such a dork taking these. 

Baby girl is still kicking away in there...some days I can feel her a lot more than others. Overall I have been feeling a LOT better, apart from being really tired again lately. I still have rough days (i.e., today- my boss was very nice and let me work from home) but overall, I'm doing much better. 

The other potentially major development (and when I say major, I mean nobody else besides myself will care about this)- I finally took my sister's advice and braved a glass of soy milk. As you readers might recall, I developed quite the severe intolerance to anything dairy and would become violently ill after any milk, etc. The last week or so though I've really missed cereal and iced coffees (decaf, of course), and I decided it was worth a shot. I had a full cup of chocolate soy milk almost 2 hours ago and still feel okay...if it continues to stay down we might have a winner!! Cereal aisle, here I come!

Okay so a truly major development- we are about 95% settled on a name for Baby Girl. Steve and I are still looking at different ideas though and giving ourselves a little more time to think about it, so those of you who don't already know which options were our top choices, you'll just have to wait a little bit more. But every time we talk about it (which is more often than I care to admit, haha), we always settle back to the same name as our favorite. We do hope to 100% commit soon and of course we plan on sharing her name (I don't think we're even capable of keeping a secret- Steve and I are way too chatty). So...stay tuned and we'll see!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Our little tap dancer

I've really started to feel our baby girl moving around in there this past week, and to my amusement I've noticed a few things that consistently get her kicking. 

* My glass of Orange Juice in the morning, she loves that stuff
* The Glee soundtrack, volume 1. She particularly likes it when I sing along to "Somebody to Love"
* 3:00 a.m.
* 4:00 a.m.
* Steve rubbing my belly- he rubs it harder than I do normally and I guess it wakes her up

I'm hopeful that soon Steve will get to feel her too- I've felt her from the outside a couple of times now, all just because I happened to have my hand on my belly when she kicked. For the most part though I can just feel her on the inside so we might have to wait until she gets a little bit bigger.