Friday, September 9, 2011

Belly Babbles Book Club: WTF Edition

Banana Bean gets at least 2 books read to her every night as part of her bedtime routine. There are some books that are routine staples in said bedtime routine (One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish is pretty much memorized at this point) but I also try to cycle through the rest of the baby books in her library.

We have run across some books that I remember loving as a child. And I read them now and want to toss them directly onto a burn pile.

1) Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman This baby bird is seriously one of the dumbest animals I have ever run across on any literary level. And I'm offended, as a mother, that any baby could look at a steam shovel and confuse it with the wonderful, perfect, loving creature that gave him life.

2) Go, Dog, Go. By P.D. Eastman This author is on a roll, isn't he? WTF kind of moronic nonsense is this?? Do you like my hat? A dog party in a tree??? I could feel myself losing intelligence the longer I read this.

3) Horton Hatches The Egg, by Dr. Seuss. I never imagined that a Dr. Seuss book would end up on my Do Not Read list, but this one definitely wins that dubious honor. WTF kind of message is this book sending? The momma bird gets knocked up, decides she doesn't want to be tied down to her developing fetus egg, so she just ups and leaves. The only reason the baby bird survives is because a freaking elephant sits on it for a year. What kind of mother leaves her baby to die so she can go have a good time? Oh that's right. Casey Anthony. No thanks, Dr. Seuss.

4) Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch. I was torn on this book. Definitely a childhood favorite, and I still love it. Up until the point where the mother drives across town in the middle of the night, pries open the window while standing on a ladder, and creeps inside like a Creepy McCreeperson to rock her adult son. Boundaries, Grandma, Boundaries. It's going to stay in the nursery but I will assure all of my children that I will not be breaking into their home when they are adults. Also, my guess is that the mom in this story never heard the "put them down drowsy but awake" theory.

5) Goodnight Moon, by Margaret Wise Brown. Another mixed opinion on this one. It really depends what kind of mood I'm in. Sometimes I think it's cute. Other times I think the author was on some kind of acid trip when she wrote it. The two particular things I don't care for are the bowl of mush and the creepy Grandma Bunny. Also there is some kind of dead animal rug in there that I'm not sure is a good decoration choice for a nursery.

Any other books that are on YOUR burn pile or Do Not Read list? And don't worry, I'm going to write a Favorites list too because there is a much bigger "good" list than there is a "bad" list!!

1 comment:

Lisa Elaine said...

This is hilarious. I think that Grandma Bunny is downright creepy, too.