Today I hit the 32 week mark and whew I'm starting to feel it. I had been feeling completely energized and normal and then it feels like I've hit a wall the last week or two. Madeline has gotten a lot stronger and I can finally REALLY feel her kicks around that pesky anterior placenta...I had a lot of peaceful moments feeling her move in there while I stared out at the ocean last week!
Well, as you readers know, this has been a complicated pregnancy. The high risk doctor received the MRI results last week and I was surprised when he called with the results himself, although it did mean a lot to me that he did that. He was on the phone with me for probably about 10 minutes, and he never once sounded rushed, which is crazy knowing how busy they are! The very good news is that they weren't able to see any places where the placenta has actually grown through the uterus or any of the surrounding organs. This was the "worst of the worst case scenarios", and if they had been able to see that, some pretty crazy surgery plans would have been put into place and I would have been having a baby in about 2 weeks. So I am very thankful that this doesn't seem to be the case!!
Unfortunately, he said that there is a distinct area near the placenta where the uterine wall appears to be thinning. He said that with those MRI images, and all of the other factors that we already knew about, he is pretty confident that there is at least some degree of accreta. We won't know to what degree the uterus is damaged though until the c-section, so I still need to prepare myself for the possibility of a hysterectomy. I have another appointment with him at the end of the month and I know they are planning to do some more ultrasounds, so hopefully we'll be able to get a few more clues on what to expect during the surgery.
Steve and I have been talking a lot about this recently (obviously) and although I will be very upset to have a hysterectomy, we would have to have some serious discussions if we did decide to try for a third child in the future. Additional c-sections just further compound the risk of previa/accreta so we might be right back in this boat again, and we aren't convinced that it's worth the gamble with my health/life to try for another baby. We have reached the point that if a hysterectomy happens, it happens, and we are going to be perfectly happy with our family of four. I am glad that we are both at peace (well, relatively) with that possibility, because I think it will make it easier to face if it does in fact go that way. But...I would be so happy to at least have the choice in the future, and obviously there are a lot of emotions tied up in this.
I had an appointment with my regular OB yesterday and I mentioned to her that I had been having a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions over the last week and that they've been getting harder to stop. She was very concerned about them, because any kind of contraction or pressure could cause me to start hemorrhaging. I'm on strict orders to take it easy for the next week or two and to have my feet up as much as possible, and then I move to full bed rest at 34 weeks. I have been feeling so tired and rotten lately though that we might move bed rest up to 33 weeks, if we can make it work with Steve and Susan's schedules. It will be a relief to me to be able to hand Anna over to them, honestly, because I don't feel like she's been getting the activity and interaction that she needs. We used to keep so busy and I know she must be getting stir-crazy, although thankfully she has seemed pretty content so far to sit with me and do her puzzles or read books. Or cover herself in stickers. But yeah...mommy guilt is in full force.
One cute side story with Bean is that she has been kissing my belly a lot lately, and giving it lots of rubs and pats. I always tell her that her baby sister is in there, and the other day she repeated back, "Bay-beeeee!" Who knows if she actually understands it, but it is pretty cute, either way!
My doctor said that we will schedule a c-section for 37, maaaaaybe 38 weeks, and that she would be beyond thrilled to get to that point, but that if anything starts to go wrong she's going to move immediately to c-section. Every week at this point is crucial for Madeline's development so I am taking the "take it easy" seriously and hoping for the best. My doctor did say that if they have a premature baby, they always hope it's a girl - apparently premature girls are usually stronger and able to stay healthy more easily than boys, which I didn't know. So...good job on being a girl, Madeline!
I have gotten really awful at responding to emails and blog comments, but please believe me when I say that I really truly appreciate all of the sweet thoughts and prayers that y'all have been sending me. I'm pretty much a zombie at the end of the day so if I have neglected to respond to an email or text or phone call or anything, please know that it is completely unintentional and that I really do appreciate them!
Anyway this blog post is beyond long enough and I'm rambling (see? zombie), but hopefully this has gotten y'all in the loop with what's going on. Please keep us in your thoughts and join us in hoping that we can get to that 37/38 week mark!!